[May, 1990] Electricity and Other Neat Stuff

 

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May 26, 1990

Dear Journal,

On Tuesday a lot of the sixth grade went on a trip to Philadelphia. It was a lot of fun too, even though it was educational!

We went to the Franklin Institute, Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, the Mint and Betsy Ross’s house. They were all fun, but my favorite was the Franklin Institute. That was the coolest of all! It had this huge heart that you could actually walk into! It also had these rad things with electricity and other neat stuff.

Betsy Ross’s house had all these wax statues and a fountain in the front of the house.

We also saw how coins were made which was pretty cool, and I even bought a coin of Independence Hall.

[From what I wrote above, it sounds like the kind of trip I’d be happy to repeat today, ideally with more time in the Franklin Institute.  I just wish I remembered more of it.  You’d think it would be tough to forget walking into a giant replica of a heart, but the only things I recall from the class trip to Philly are two souvenirs I bought: a miniature version of the Liberty Bell that fit in the palm of my hand and that Independence Hall coin.  It’s quite possible I bought the coin more for the box it came in, a beautiful velvet blue case with a hinged lid that looked like it should hold something involving diamond-y and much more expensive.]

Well, on to other things. I am going to be getting an achievement award from the borough president, Howard Golden!

It will be given to me at Brooklyn College and then I will bring it to school, so that they could give it to me again at the graduation assembly. And I am going to get a ticket to see the Mets game on June 29! Even though I am a Yankees fan, I will probably go anyway.

The achievement award probably had something to do with my solid academic record and the fact that I was the first student in the history of my elementary school to be accepted into Hunter College High School.  I don’t know if being a Russian immigrant also had anything to do with it.

As for baseball, I have never in my life watched a single game on television, and barely paid attention to the few live games I attended. For me the stadium trips were more about chatting with whatever friends I sat next to and the ballpark snacks. Therefore, it is ludicrous that I tried to pass myself off as any kind of baseball fan, and even chose a team. The real reason I picked the Yankees is because I hated the color orange, which, along with blue is a team color for the Mets.

[February, 1990] Valentine’s Day: Guess What Happened?

“What is essential is invisible to the eye…”

2/15/90

Dear Journal,

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and guess what happened? Mitchell gave me a bracelet! It’s so beautiful! I’m wearing it now. It has a thin gold chain with a heart on it studded with diamonds. I absolutely love it.

I remember being in class that day, and wondering whether Mitch would acknowledge it in any way. I don’t know elementary school dating conventions in this day and age, but 20 years ago, going on two dates in the sixth grade practically meant you were going steady. At least, that’s what it meant to my possibly-deluded 12-year-old self. Even so, I didn’t want to get my hopes up that Mitch would do anything romantic, because he seemed generally shy of showing any public displays of affection (considering that 99% of the time we spent together was in public, I should have seen this as a potential problem).

The school day finished uneventfully, and I resigned myself to the fact that my Valentine’s Day would be nothing special.

I was on my way home, just passing the school yard, when someone came running up behind me.

He probably said something like “I got this for you” when he gave me the bracelet. I probably thanked him.

I held it tightly in my hand until I came home and then put it on. The heart shifted around my skinny wrist when I wore it, so I frequently adjusted the chain until I could see the “diamonds” glimmer in the light. Sometimes I put the bracelet around the neck of the puppy Mitch had given me, so that it looked like the stuffed animal had a fancy collar. But mostly I wore the hell out of it, pleased to have received jewelry on Valentine’s Day, which seemed a terribly romantic and grown-up gesture.

No, they weren’t real diamonds, nor did I believe they were, but I had never been given such a beautiful gift from a boy before in my entire life (unless you count that Tiffany tape, which I don’t).

That day, I felt like Molly Ringwald at the end of a John Hughes movie, triumphing in a happy ending after so many disappointments. It wouldn’t last (it rarely does), but I had that moment of surprise and joy, and that was enough to carry me for a little while.

[July, 1988] Holes in My Heart

7/17/88

Dear Diary,

I forgot to tell you about this crush I Had for two years: His name is Jonas P. and he just graduated. I will Never see him again but I will never forget Him.

I had many dreams about him but I now none of them will come true. one time I slept over Borya’s house and we talked about personal stuff and I told him about Jonas and he started discouraging me and telling me to forget about him.

I was so sad that night that I cried myself to sleep.

didn't mean much anyway

Jonas was my hall monitor in third and fourth grade and two years my senior. He had red hair, blue eyes and freckles, and I exchanged probably no more than five sentences with him during the the time we we attended the same elementary school. Back then, a two year age difference was like a 20 year gap today. The only reason he ever had to say anything to me was if I misbehaved.

Now I was a good kid, but I was also ridiculously smitten. I made a habit of talking during assemblies on purpose, so that Jonas would reprimand me. Scandalous, I know. Sometimes I even talked back to him. Once I really pushed my luck and he made me stand against the wall. I didn’t act up after after that because deep down I feared authority (still do, sometimes).

I didn’t know anything about Jonas besides his name and that he was cute and made my nine/ten-year-old little heart beat fast. I also knew that being in “love” with him was hopeless.

As much as I knew it, I didn’t need Borya to remind me how was hopeless it was and make me cry about it. That jerk.